True Intimacy – Frank Ostaseski – No Fear No Death

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I thought this morning we might start with a little practice, a little guided practice. But, a word or two before we start the practice.

Sometimes I think – I talk to a lot of healthcare people, docs and nurses and such. I explain to them that in the pursuit of true healing we are our best diagnostic tool. We can sense our bodies and find out something about the dark and cramped places, and we can also recognize places where the energy is flowing easily. We can explore our hearts and understand something about how we can allow fear, and overwhelm and grief, and we can look at our minds, and we can see our views and our habits, and how they contribute to our happiness or our suffering.

So mindfulness and compassion are, I always say when I talk to these big conferences, they’re the most available, the least expensive, and the most effective tool that you can use in literally every aspect of your life. And yet, commonly they are on shelves for some other time. We’re not seeing them as reliable. I think what happens in that is a lot of us wind up living a life that’s characterized by fear and distress. I think we can do something about that.

I’d like to offer a guided meditation this morning, but if we do that I really need your help. It’s not enough for me to just say the words, they have to be received. It’s like when a gift is given it has to be received. That means that I’m going to ask you to be willing to receive and also to set down whatever you are holding onto. Okay?

A guy said the other day, your books and water cups, your ideas, all your stories about meditation, what’s the right way to meditate, or what you’re trying to achieve in meditation – all of that. There’s plenty of room you can just put it here in the front of the room, or put it to the side of the room if you like. Okay.

Let’s shut our eyes. Rest and close. Untense the body. Stability. Strong back, soft front. The posture like prayer, uplifting. And then let’s not be in a hurry to meditate, we’re so busy rushing around, let’s not be in a hurry. Let’s just pause.

Pause is a kind of choice. A choice not to be swept away by the momentum of habit. Pause is remembering who you actually are. The pause is a way to connect the body and the mind and the heart into this moment. So just pause. And then relax. Mindfulness emerges much more easily in a relaxed mind, heart and body.

Now look and see where there’s any unnecessary tension. You can see where you might be expending or wasting energy. Very little effort is required. No extra effort to hear the sound of my voice. Just find a balance between, not more or less energy, but relaxation and interest.

Now pause, again and again. And relax. And then open. Can you really be open minded in this moment, just for a little bit? Liberating yourself from fixed views and beliefs about who you are and what you think is possible?

You know a characteristic of an open mind is a kind of spaciousness activated by an interest in knowing. Can your curiosity be greater.

The nature of our nature is open. Feel the pause and relax. And open. Then simply allow. Allowing takes us beyond accepting and rejecting all together. It’s a sort of trusting of what’s emerging. It reminds us to releases ourselves from the whole idea of comparison, preference, for and against, hope and fear. It’s a kind of resting place.

Resting and allowing. Just a simple pause, and relax. Open. And allow. Now become intimate. This intimacy is a kind of communion with our experience, an immediacy with our experience. Nothing between awareness and the object. It’s the fearless, loving receptivity. We’re opening everything, wishing away nothing. When you’re intimate with yourself you’re simply being self.

Slow pause, and relax. Open. Allow. Become intimate. Just pause. Relax. Open. Allow. Become intimate.

Again again, just reflect, pause, so we’re not swept away by habit. Then relax. Nothing special to do, no one special to be. Open. Nature, our nature is open.

Allow. Everything. No part left out.

Become intimate. Pause. Relax. Become intimate.

I thank you for your practice.

This excerpt is a transcription from our new audio program.

No Death, No Fear . Click here for free previews 

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  • steve stein