The Company You Keep Weeding and Seeding In Relationship – Mark Matousek

In this video, we’re going to talk about the importance of weeding and seeding in your relationships. Weeding and seeding is a term used in agriculture to describe the practice of removing the exterior flowers or leaves of a plant to encourage the development of the fruit or flowers within. Relationships are important, and it’s important to keep them healthy by weeding and seeding them in the right way.  By doing this, you’ll be able to grow and build healthy relationships that will last you a long time!

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Transcription below

Steve Stein: The company you keep. So, so that’s kind of the process you, you can do, it’s the end of the year, Weeding and seeding in relationships.

Mark Matousek: Where are you not being honest, you know, who do you feel not accepted by? Who do you have trouble accepting?

You know, very basic questions that, that we just don’t ask ourselves particularly because in long term relationships you take so much for granted. 

Oh well, we’ve been friends for so long. Well that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be friends now or that there’s really any real intimacy between you now, you know, 

I kind of take the Marie kondo approach, you know, Marie kondo does, it doesn’t give you joy, does the relationship bring you joy? And if not, it doesn’t mean you have to be, you know, blissful all the time when you’re with someone, but is the, is the foundation of the relationship love or is it guilt?

Is it obligation? Is it, I don’t know how to get out of this.

Uh so I’ll just, I’ll just hang out really?

I think that love and joy need to be the bottom line unless it’s a relationship that’s a work of a professional relationship or as I said, um a family relationship, which sometimes we just, we have to do the best we can,

Steve Stein: So, you know, when you think about one of the things that we’re starting to do, you know we’re kind of refining, you know, and wisdom feed plus our membership is kind of an onboarding process and not everyone’s in the same place, but you know, so this is like another thing like taking, you could take stock uh, if you’re being mindful throughout the day, you could kind of take stock at your diet because you know, we try to do mind body spirit, but you could also take stock in relationships.

So in relationships, you can, you can kind of informally do it.I mean, I, I imagine you could do a whole writing exercise around all

Mark Matousek: I do courses that are just about relationships and friendship uh, in particular friendship is one of those underestimated undervalued things because we’re so obsessed with romance in our culture that we think real love means romantic love, but friendship is a complicated and many sided issue. And another thing during the pandemic, we really saw, we really saw the value of friendship and the necessity for cult for feeding it, it was, became so easy to just fall out of touch with people.

So we had to work harder to stay connected and that for me in my life, that showed me who it mattered to do that with and and the, and the folks who, you know, it didn’t.

So the other thing steve is sometimes relationships just get stale and they get stale, but through repetition.

And because we’re playing it safe, and sometimes we need to say things, we need to take risks in friendships.

And that’s another thing that if you can’t take a risk in a relationship, chances are it’s not a very strong relationship.

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