In "Keeping Love Alive", Armand DiMele, host of the popular "The Positive Mind" radio show, along with Stephanie D’Ambra, a psychotherapist who specializes in communication and sexuality, discusses how to keep love alive and strong after many years together, and the chemistry changes that take affect over the course of a relationship. Following is a transcribed excerpt from the program.
Today’s conversation is going to be about irritability, nastiness, disregard, and all that other stuff that comes with it. It’s what happens between people. It’s something that’s so common. It seems that all relationships seem to start off with a lot of love and good chemistry, and then after awhile they get sloppy and after awhile they kind of turn in to this kind of slight nastiness. Now not all relationships do it. But you learn different ways. I’ve known maybe five couples who have never had that happen, but with most other people a thing happens where you treat the other person with a kind of disregard.
I met with somebody earlier today who was describing to me how this happened between her and her husband and she says, “Well, you know there are times when I’m around him I just feel totally irritable towards him and I, not even irritable, I just don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to go near him. I don’t want him to touch me. I don’t send out any signals.” What is that thing?
I believe that if most people, and I’m saying 99% of people would let themselves go the way nature would design them to go, they would wind up being numb people who exist together at the end. Numb, the little joy, a little niceness. It’s something about being with somebody when you’re old enough and you both have creaky bones, and you kind of share the creaky bones. But, what’s missing is this kind of love and respect. Just something that I certainly want in my life, and I will not live without. And something I hope you would want in your life and will not live without.
